


begin again (you say we can still be friends)

by spock



Series: growing up together [1]
Category: Private Romeo (2011)
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Class Differences, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Relationship, Stealth Fusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-21 16:02:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spock/pseuds/spock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's sharing his best friend with a guy who <i>doesn't even know it</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	begin again (you say we can still be friends)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheWrongKindOfPC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWrongKindOfPC/gifts).



Josh wakes up to feet thundering out in the hallway, trampling up and down the stairs, sound amplified with his door not there to act as a barrier. Somebody left it open.

He squeezes his eyes shut and presses his face so deeply into the pillow beneath it that his shallow inhalations feel like they take hours to draw in, body and lungs fighting to get enough air through the feathers, foam, cotton-whatever-the-fuck of his pillow that has neatly sealed itself over his mouth and nose.

The phone he snaked off one of his brothers two weeks ago when he first got back home starts making noise somewhere up around his right eyebrow, so he angles his forehead up and down, trying to mute it without moving. It doesn't work.

After a minute the ringing stops on its own and Josh is left with a few beats of silence. His siblings have all moved downstairs, leaving the hallway outside of his door as quiet as it'll ever be, the only sounds coming from the ever-present creaking of the old house itself. Their voices and shouting just barely clear the second landing, but he's had a lifetime of tuning it out so it doesn't even filter in anymore, not really.

The phone starts making noise again, this time a different chime and only for a couple seconds before it's quiet again. Josh props himself up on his left shoulder so he can hike his arm up and root around underneath his pillow. His fingers slide around the sheets blindly before one of them makes contact with the plastic of the phone.

Josh slips it out and holds the phone level with his face; only then does he finally squint his eyes open. Last night his brothers bitched at him to turn down the screen while he dicked around on it for a bit before finally falling asleep, so the backlight’s still dimmed enough to not make him want to kill himself. Looks like he missed a call from Sam, followed up by a text: _Hit me up when you wake up_.

Looks like he's awake now. Josh drops the phone back down on the bed and sits up. He digs the meaty part of his palms into his eyes before dragging his hands up over his face, his hair, slotting his fingers together before hooking them around the back of his neck.

After a few beats he gets up with a grunt he and starts looking around the floor for something to wear. He pulls on the pair of dark green skinny jeans he's been wearing non-stop since he got them last week for Christmas. He reaches back onto the bed to stuff the phone into his back pocket before slapping on some deodorant, tossing it back on his younger brothers bed when he's through with it. Josh spots a henley on the floor off to the side of his shared dresser so he kicks it up to his hands and yanks it on. It feels just tight enough around his shoulders and wrists to mean that it's probably his brother’s, but that's never stopped him before. He pulls a sweater over that and snags his four-going-on-five-year-old hoodie from the foot of his bed before heading downstairs. 

As soon as his older sister sees his legs from her vantage point in the kitchen she calls out to ask if he has any money to add to the bills fund. McKinley's got him on a scholarship so it's not like his family has to pay the way, but him not being home all the time means that there's one less person to bring in money. He wiggles the tips of his fingers down into the front pocket of his jeans and pulls out the six twenties he hustled yesterday at their neighbor’s divebar.

He and his sister grin at each other, his fingers twisting awkwardly around the money to make sure they don't slip out of his grip as they air high-five across the room. There's a huge glass pickle jar with 'bills' written on it in all-caps centered on the kitchen table where his other siblings are seated. Josh leans over his younger brother’s head to drop his earnings in, snags two knockoff-brand-Eggo's off his younger sister's plate and presses a kiss to his baby brother’s head before hightailing it out of the house through the back door before she notices and bitches at him for it.

Josh stuffs one in his mouth as he hops down the stairs into the backyard. Looks like it snowed last night. He swallows and bites the other one between his teeth so that he has both his hands free, shrugs on his hoodie and zips it up. He makes his way towards the front of their house to sit on the stoop. He twists his arm back to grab the phone out from his pocket before plopping down on the stairs. He takes a bite as he pulls the waffle out from between his teeth, idly thumbing at the screen of the phone to call Sam back. He's chewing on the rest of it when Sam finally picks up the phone.

"Hey, morning." Josh can hear him start to speak under his breath before the sound of a chair sliding across the floor covers it up. There's a couple rustling sounds after that, and then Sam's speaking again. "Sorry, I was eating breakfast with dad. Hope I didn't wake you up?"

"Naw, it's fine," Josh says around his mouthful, swallowing it dry and coughing a couple times because of it. "What's up?"

"Wanted to know if you wanted to Amtrak back to school together tomorrow? Figured you could join Gus on the way up like usual, and I would hop on for the final leg of the trip, how's that sound?" Sam's dad makes more money than both of Gus' parents combined. So much that Josh and his siblings' part-time jobs and his father's measly scammed government checks can't even be mentioned in the same breath. Usually he and Gus take the train because the one-way tickets bought with their student ID's are the cheapest method to get up there, never mind that the pay his sister and Gus' parents would lose by taking off work to drive them there and back wouldn't even cover gas. This isn't the first time Sam has mentioned wanting to make the trip with them, but apparently now that he's finally sixteen his dad has relented and given him permission to do so.

"Yeah man," Josh says, smiling. "Sounds great."

**i.**

The first week back they've got them running drills at five in the morning on-the-dot, Sam leagues in front of everyone else. During break he'd call up Gus or Josh on alternating mornings, sometimes as early as three a.m., droning on aimlessly about unimportant things that they only half-listened to, more asleep than awake themselves, the repetitive inhalations of Sam's breath lulling them back to sleep while the harshness of his grunted words jolted them awake again. He'd run seven, eight, ten miles a day before hitting up the cushy gym his father got him a membership at, spend another hour or five working with weights.

Josh spent all of his time either sleeping or working. Being back home also meant being able to smoke again, so his lungs are burning in tandem with his muscles. Normally Josh can keep up with Sam for about a mile or so before he gives up and falls back a few tiers to run with some of the other guys. This week he hasn't given enough of a fuck to bother, not even Sam's friendly taunting enough to stir the competitive streak in him enough to make him try. He's freshly seventeen and has reached true enlightenment, figured out the golden rule that only the seniors seem to know: as long as he isn't running anchor in the very back, the instructors won't give him any shit. So he's got his pace matched with Gus', the two of them somewhere in the middle of the main herd. Gus' always been the slowest of the three of them, his baby-fat refusing to leave him just yet and his shorter legs slowing him down besides.

Sam looks back their way over his shoulder and after two laps of slowing his pace and letting other guys overtake him, he's running alongside the two of them for the first time since they started. "You two are some of the sorriest bastards I've ever seen." He doesn't even sound all that winded, even though they've been running nonstop for practically forty minutes. Josh feels like he's going to pass the fuck out.

"I'll fucking step on you," Josh chokes out, reaching out to swat at Sam, watching out of the corner of his eye as Sam darts away, laughing and never breaking his stride. "Don't think I won't."

"Fuck, do it," Gus pleads. "I'm tired of his perky bullshit. Do it for _me_ , J." Just then their CO yells out that they can finally switch to walking, the much anticipated precursor to the end of their daily run. Gus and he fall out of their run like a car hitting the brakes, stopping so quickly that their combined momentum almost makes Josh trip over himself. Sam laughs again and drops into a jog before finally walking like the rest of them. "Whatever," is all Sam says in the end.

Josh reaches out for both on them and drapes his arms over their shoulders. "I'm done, boys. You'll have to carry me in." Gus slips out from under his arm, looking just about done himself, so instead Josh loops that arm around Sam's other shoulder. Sam pulls up his legs in an attempt to carry him bridal-style. Josh has to practically wrap his torso around Sam's neck, shifts around until it turns into a bastardized fireman's carry because his legs are nearly as long as Sam himself is tall. Still, Sam manages it and keeps on walking.

"Well if it isn't my favorite threesome." Carlos appears out of nowhere, shouldering Gus away from where he was walking next to Sam. "Or should I say two-some? Looks like you two finally tied the knot during break, huh? Guess you were just waiting for that shit to become legal. Sucks for poor Gusy-Gus that polygamy wasn't something else the faggots were pushing for, huh?"

Josh grew up with guys like Carlos, so he's always known not to rise to his baiting. Gus and Sam were slower on the uptake — lower- and upper-middle class lives having kept them mostly sheltered from guys who act like assholes just for the sake of it. After dealing with him and the other guys like him all of last year they've finally built up a tolerance and ignore the shit they try to stir up for attention.

Or so he thought. He feels Sam's arms tighten around him and now he's not quite sure. Josh looks up and sees that Sam's face looks torn. He follows his line of sight and realizes that he's looking at a group of guys ahead of them; a couple of upperclassmen and a few lower plus six or seven guys from their grade but the only two who Josh knows by name are Glenn and Omar. They're all walking backwards, rubbernecking as they watch to see what Carlos' trying to cook up this time. Glenn's the only one who doesn't look at least slightly amused, a frown on his face, looking directly at Sam and Josh.

Josh can feel Sam speak before the words actually leave his mouth. "Don't say shit like that." His voice is more even than Josh has ever heard it, full of a type of conviction Josh didn't even know Sam had. Josh has had his eyes trained on Glenn the entire time, doesn't miss the way Glenn's mouth jolts up like he's fighting back a smile, or the way Omar elbows him lightly in the ribs before they both turn around and face forward, a catalyst that makes the rest of the onlookers do the same. Everybody knows that Sam doesn't get into fights. It's not like Carlos can start anything even if he wanted to, not out in the open with their instructors watching them overhead from the bleachers.

Their CO breaks through the tension and silence before Carlos can come up with a retort by yelling out, "Neff! Get your ass down. Singleton can't carry you all of your life!"

Josh swings down out of Sam's hold and gets back to walking.

**ii.**

Halfway through freshman year, Carlos walked in on him jerking it in the bathroom. It'd been two in the morning after a long day of finals and everyone on his floor had been so drained that they'd fallen asleep before lights out. Josh woke up at one with a boner that wouldn't quit, spent nearly an hour willing himself to fall back asleep before giving up for broke.

He'd snuck out of his room as silently as possible. His roommate had been a stickler for a rules and would've given him the third degree before _and_ after he left, and Josh just wanted to get it taken care of as quickly as possible so he could get back to sleep.

As soon as he'd passed the sinks in the communal bathroom he slipped into one of the shower stalls and yanked his sweats down to his knees, spitting on his palm before taking himself in hand and going to work. Between being half-asleep and so close to coming that he could practically taste it, he'd missed hearing Carlos enter the bathroom. Still didn't even notice he was there until the other boy made a noise in the back of his throat at the sight of him.

Josh looked up, eyes wide and breath freezing in his lungs. Both of them stared at one another for a few drawn out seconds, neither knowing what to do. Then Josh noticed the way Carlos' eyes kept darting down to his dick every few seconds before forcibly tearing themselves away to look back up at his face. Took in the way that it started to look like Carlos was getting an erection himself.

He steeled himself for the worst possible outcome and then decided to go for it, licked his lips quickly before starting to move his hand again and just like that, Carlos was on him.

He batted Josh's hands away and wrapped his own around Josh's dick, used the other to snake around Josh's back and squeeze his ass. Josh nearly choked on his own tongue, stuffing his own hand down the front of Carlos' track pants and into his boxers to get as his dick. Carlos arched his back, tried to get closer.

Josh brought their dicks close together, grinding them against one another. Their knuckles brushed every few strokes and after four minutes of feeling Carlos' hand and _dick_ drag along his own Josh felt like he was going to explode. He's still proud of himself for lasting as long as he did, truth be told. Carlos had been making choked off noises into his shoulder that meant that he was just shy of coming himself, so Josh used his free hand to yank Carlos' face up and next to his. Carlos yanked his head back, never slowing down the speed of his hand, and whisper-hissed, "Kiss me and I'll cut your fucking tongue out."

Josh came harder than he had in his entire life.

**iii.**

This semester Gus' free period didn't sync up with Josh and Sam's, which sucks. They'd taken to hanging out in Sam and Gus' dorm and writing stupid notes and shit for Gus to find while he was on his own so that he wouldn't feel left out. Not today though. Today Sam wanted to go outside.

They'd barely cleared the middle of February so it was still cold as balls outside, and Josh made sure Sam knew his objections loud and clear. During the spring they would hang outside and play soccer or volleyball or basketball, sure, but spring was a month or two away at best. Between the morning and night runs, everyone did their best to stay inside if they could help it.

Still, Josh followed Sam out of the main building, bitching at him the whole time. Josh practically sat down on top of him when they took their usual place along the fence, smiling viciously when Sam complained about it but didn't bother to move away. If Sam was going to force him to be out here, the least the bastard could do was share some of his body heat. The only other two outside were Glenn and Omar over on the volleyball court, haphazardly knocking the ball between them. As soon as Josh spotted them he knew why Sam had dragged them both outside.

Omar and Glenn both transferred in at the start of the year, which was enough reason for anyone to take notice. Nearly everyone started at McKinley as freshman and even then a decent amount of those freshmen wouldn't come back, because it really only takes a year for them to figure out if military life isn't the life for them. Those that stay on stick around until graduation, rinse, wash, repeat. So transferring in during sophomore year was strange enough, but stranger still was that they apparently hadn't come from an academy before that.

Josh hadn't taken notice of them more than that, to be honest. The only people he bothered with were Sam and Gus. After that was Adam, especially when he needed to get fucked off his face, and Carlos, when he needed to fuck someone's face.

It wasn't the same story for Sam. 

All during the first semester he'd awkwardly try to start conversations with Glenn. It was how they found out that Glenn and Omar hadn't been at a military school before this one. How they found out that they're both from Delaware. That Glenn's an only child and both of his parents work, so he spent a lot of his free time at Omar’s house growing up. Omar comes from a long line of military brats, his entire family sort of legacied in at McKinley in one way or another, so there was never any doubt as to if he'd eventually wind up at here just like all his other siblings had done. Omar went to a public high school with Glenn during their freshman year because Glenn hadn't been accepted during his first application. They applied again the next year and got in, so here they both were. 

Omar is funny with just enough of a smart-ass edge for Josh to find him hilarious most of the time. Josh isn't sure just how he wound up being friends with a guy like Glenn, but then again Josh is friends with Gus and Sam, so it's not like he can judge.

More than half of the school year done and Sam still isn't any less awkward when it comes to Glenn. He's stepped up his game since they came back from break, Josh has to give him that. Too bad for Sam that _stepping up his game_ basically equates to stalking.

Omar jackknifes and the ball must hit his hand in the wrong spot because he starts cussing up a storm, causing Glenn to laugh, loud and bright. Sam leans forward like a flower feeling the siren call of the sun and Josh has never seen anything more pathetic in all his days. Sam wouldn't make it one day in Josh's neighborhood.

Glenn ducks underneath the net and reaches out for his friend’s hand. Omar honest-to-god pouts, but gives Glenn his hand all the same. They start talking, but Sam and he are too far away to make out whatever it is they're saying. Glenn's smiling and rubbing at Omar’s hand as they talk. Sam's staring at that connection, still leaning off the fence towards them like if he just strains hard enough he'll be able to eavesdrop. Glenn's been taking each of Omar’s fingers into his own hands one by one, rubbing for a few moments before switching to another one. _Staring_. After he finishes with Omar’s injured hand he takes the other one and starts the process again, easy as you please. _Staring_. Eventually they sit down on the court as they continue their conversation. Staring, staring, staring.

"Aw, Sammy, why don't you look at me like that anymore," Josh deadpans, because he can't stand to watch this shit any longer. Sam mumbles something that Josh doesn't even bother to try to understand. Sam doesn't tear his eyes away from Glenn, not even once.

Josh watches Sam watch Glenn.

**iv.**

Spring finally rolls around, which means field and practical exams. Last year Sam somehow talked Josh and Gus into doing the land navigation exercises early even though they were freshmen, so they've basically tested out of them this year. Adam, Omar, and Glenn didn't qualify, the latter two on account of them not having done the pre-req training the previous year since it's effectively their first year. Ken's a senior and always looking for any reason to suck up to their instructors, and Carlos is his right-hand man — even though he's as far from a goodie-two-shoes like Ken is as you can get — so Ken volunteers them to be in charge while everyone else is gone.

Ken's not exactly a power hungry asshole, but Carlos is, so Josh fully prepares himself for the next four days to be annoying as fuck.

**v.**

Sam is still just as obsessed with Glenn as ever. Josh's spent too much of his free time following Sam around while he moons after Glenn, and he's sick of it. He's sharing his best friend with a guy who doesn't even know it.

**vi.**

Sam's been quiet lately. More quiet than usual, anyway. Gus notices the way he's been zoning out, drawing away from both Josh and himself. Gus can't find the right time to talk to him about it. Not with Josh around, ready to make a joke about how a guy like Sam doesn't even know what real problems _are_.

Before he might have even agreed, but he's been seeing things that suggest otherwise. Things that Josh doesn't know about because Sam made him swear not to talk about it to anyone. Sam tossing and turning during the night, climbing out of his bed to sit on Gus', asking questions that he already knows the answers too, just because he wants to hear them come out of somebody else's mouth.

His chance finally presents itself when they're in the bathroom. It's not like they're alone, but Josh isn't there with them for once, so he takes his chance all the same. Sam's just walked in, so Gus figures that Sam won't be able to come up with an excuse to escape this upcoming conversation that wouldn't be embarrassingly obvious, even for him. "What's up with you, man?"

Sam's reply makes nearly no sense, drawn out and so careful that what he doesn't say is more important than the bullshit he actually does. "Dude, you like someone, don't you?" Sam's open-mouthed silence is answer enough.

"Not really," Sam answers calmly, but Gus sees that he's starting to put the things he'd only just taken out of his shower-kit back in, readying his escape. 

"How do you _not really_ have a crush on someone?"

"Well it's not like they like me, so," Sam's picking up his kit and trying to get around him and to the showers. Gus isn't going to give up his chance at finally having this conversation now that he's started it, and from the resigned way Sam sighs and doesn't put up a fight when Gus tugs him back, Gus can tell that Sam knows it.

"Come on," Gus goads, "Tell me who it is? Do I know 'em?"

**vii.**

Josh's taken to being a bit of a bully when to comes to Glenn. It's the only way he can get Sam to remember that he and Gus exist when Glenn's around, and it's not like he actually hits the guy, so he doesn't see any problem with it.

Doesn't matter if it's during class or if he sees him across campus or walking through the weight-room, he'll give Glenn a hard time for one reason or another. More often then not Omar’s there to watch Glenn's back, so he usually gets as good as he gives.

In the halls he'll yell out Glenn's name and wave at him for no reason, yank him into his body and act overly familiar just to give Sam a reason to pull him away, play at being a white knight. The satisfaction he gets when Sam chases after him while Glenn stares in bewilderment at the pair of them is almost as good as Carlos' jealousy over it all.

After they started hooking up last year Carlos would get particularly antsy whenever Josh would wind himself around Sam or Gus. Whenever Josh found himself wanting for sex, he'd be more tactile with the two of them than usual and like clockwork Carlos would figure out a way to corner him when they were alone and retake what he believed to be his.

He's mostly gotten over it now, the only time it really flares up is when they come back from breaks. Josh doesn't have the time or opportunity to sleep around when he's at home, but Carlos doesn't need to know that. Putting up with his hand for a couple months or weeks is suddenly made worth it when he gets to fuck Carlos into oblivion, the other boys unspoken desire to have his mind put to ease more than transparent for Josh to have picked up not long after the second intense reunion they'd had.

Carlos takes Josh's sudden interest in Glenn as a challenge on his claim because he's too self-centered to realize that Josh is only doing it to get a rise out of Sam.

After practically dry-humping Glenn in the hallway after English Lit, Sam visibly wants nothing to do with him, and he drags Gus into their room without bothering to invite Josh along.

Josh heads to his own room and sees that Adam isn't there, which doesn't surprise him. The faculty being gone means that he can spend as much time as he wants in the chem lab without having to worry about getting caught or needing to explain himself.

Someone knocks twice, rapid-fire quick, before shoving the door open. Josh knows it is Carlos before he even starts the second knock. He slips in and shoulders the door closed behind him. "Where's Hersh?" Josh answers that he's out and won’t be back for a good long while. "How about your little friends, they gonna come looking for you anytime soon?" Josh laughs and says they're pissed at him. Even though Gus is an old pro at getting both Sam and Josh to cool down by now and that Sam isn't the grudge-holding type, it'll still be a couple hours or more before he'll consider ever wanting to talk to Josh again.

"Good," Carlos declares, walking over to the bed where Josh's seated and shoving him onto his back. He reaches behind himself with one hand and tugs his shirt up over his head by the collar, before reaching down to undo Josh's pants.

Josh always freeballs when they're in full uniform and this time is no exception, so Carlos has no problem getting to his dick once he undoes Josh's fly. He spreads his legs so that Carlos can sit between them, moving his foot so that it's resting in between Carlos' thighs, where he pushes his toes up to feel Carlos' dick through his pants.

Carlos licks along the length of him a few times to slick him up before taking him into his mouth and swallowing down so that the head of Josh's dick presses into the back of Carlos' throat.

Josh stares down at Carlos between his thighs, eyes closed with his long, dark eyelashes fanned out against the tops of his cheeks. Josh presses his foot harder against Carlos' dick and he tightens his hold on Josh's hips in response.

Giving Glenn a hard time is doing wonders for his sex life _and_ it makes his best friend remember that he actually exists; it's a win-win.

**viii.**

Josh's quoting the one line of Shakespeare that he hasn't been able to get out of his head since he said it in class and he knows he's made a huge mistake.

Fucking lying dreamers.

From time to time Adam'll ask Josh to be his guinea pig for whatever new concoction he's schemed up that month. Uppers, downers, equalizers. Josh is mostly a weed and booze man himself, but Adam can make anything sound good. He isn't sure what this new stuff is, but it has him tweaking so bad that he's actually cognizant that he's tweaking.

The heat moved in early this year and he's always been a heavy sweater. He figures that by this rate he'll have sweated through the worst of it before the night has even begun, which is a small victory. Gus won't stop shining his fucking flashlight directly in Josh's eyes and Sam's looking at him like he know's he's tripping the balls he is. Josh is tired of acting like Sam doesn't have this—this _thing_ for Glenn, and he's high enough to not remember why he hasn't confronted him about it before now in the first place.

Still, he's never been overly mean when he's high, no matter what he's on, so when Sam tells him to calm down and Gus backs him up he submits to them easily, making it to the rec hall without any other problems. As soon as they clear the door Sam breaks away from them, eyes locked on Glenn once he spots him and it's like nobody else in the room fucking exists. Josh's mood does a complete one-eighty when he realizes that Carlos' eyes focused on him as soon as he walked in, and he can't help but feel more optimistic because of it.

Josh grabs a drink and he and Gus head back over towards Sam. He's just as gloomy as ever, and something inside of Josh — the drugs, the knowledge that he'll probably be getting some tonight, the fact that Sam's been playing this same bullshit tune since he first saw Glenn — makes him try to help instill some confidence in his friend, who's never lacked for anything in his life except for that.

He shakes Sam around, says his piece, and watches bemusedly as Sam drags Gus off towards the wall to talk. He goes to sit next to Carlos and taps the table a couple times, asking to be dealt in. Everything’s fine until Carlos looks up and sees where Sam is finally, _finally_ talking to Glenn off in the corner. He makes a dumb comment and Josh is too high to deal with this shit right now. "Jesus, what now?" He asks as they all turn to look at the two of them. They're just talking. "Just let it go, Carlos."

Carlos' current jealousy towards Glenn combined with whatever’s lingering from when he was jealous of Sam must make him want to latch on to this current development for all that it's worth, but Josh can see right through him and decides to nip it in the bud. "Just shut your fuckin' trap before I make you, alright?"

They get back to their game and for a while everything’s fine. Adam turns away from the table and Josh looks up to see what he's looking at. Sam and Glenn are kissing. He feels a little proud, because for a while he wasn't sure if even Sam knew what his obsession with Glenn was all about, but it looks like he's figured it out.

Carlos looks up just in time to catch them at it too, and Josh feels his stomach drop. Like a dog with a bone, Carlos just won't let this shit go. "Yeah, sure, whatever," he comments, taking another drag from his bottle and tossing ten cents into the pot. "All I'm saying is, sure _Don't Ask, Don't Tell_ is gone and all, but you just wait until everyone gets back and see if they're accepting like you guys are." Carlos stares right at him as he says it, can feel Carlos' eyes crawling along the skin of his neck — Josh agrees with what Carlos is saying, the wealth of shared experience and background between the two of them based on where they grew up and who they are that lets them know that shit like what Sam and Glenn are doing, how open they are about it, just won't fly — but he refuses to look Carlos' way and give him the satisfaction of acknowledging it all the same.

Josh's eyes flick to Gus and they share a look. He turns back to Carlos and stares at him hard, trying to gauge if all he's going to do tonight is talk shit or if he's actually going to try to start something. Sam and Glenn keep on kissing, like they don't have a care in the world, and now Josh feels himself getting worked up. He and Carlos still don't kiss, and while he's never really thought about it before, he finds that he's bitter that the two of them are kissing out in the open for everyone to see when he can't even do it in the dark.

Omar must feel the change in the table's mood because he's up and moving to collect Glenn and get out while the getting’s good. Gus' up next to do the same for Sam and he's out the door before Josh makes it to him. The beer's reacting weird with what he took earlier in the evening, he feels dizzy and disoriented, tired.

He follows in the direction Sam took when he made his hasty escape and calls out for Sam, kicking against the lockers. He knows Sam's hiding somewhere in the hallway. Gus tries to calm him down like always and even through the haze of his drunkenness he can tell Gus' right. Sam probably just needs to get his fascination with Glenn out of his system, maybe with an orgasm or two, and it'll all go back to normal.

Josh palms Gus' head, lets Gus drag his arm over his neck to help shoulder some of Josh's stumbling weight and wonders just when Gus got so smart.

**ix.**

Josh gets himself riled up again later, so worked up that he somehow talks himself into believing that giving Glenn a good ol' fashioned hazing in the dead of night would be a good idea.

It isn't. Ken lets Carlos be the one who doles out his punishment because apparently he's gotten wise enough to realize that Carlos always goes extra-hard on Josh. He doesn't even know the half of it.

Sam either doesn't realize that Josh was a part of it or is just too far gone to care, because he doesn't mention it during their gym period. Gus said that he hadn't gone back to the dorm last night, and Josh is pleased as fucking punch.

Now that he's finally gotten laid, Josh hopes this whole Glenn thing will be out of his system for good.

**x.**

Carlos corners them in the gym and on any other day he and Carlos stalking around each other would give Josh wood like nothing else. As is, he can tell that Carlos is going to take this too far and force him to choose sides.

His whole life has taught him that family comes first, and even if Sam hasn't been treating him right lately, he's still the closest thing to family he's got here.

Josh's never been that great of a fighter, but he does his best, because like a lot of other things in life, all that really matters is that you don't back down. Carlos is scrappy and is used to fighting, so Josh makes sure to do the most of his damage before their fists have actually started swinging. Tosses both insults and flirty double-innuendo at Carlos, gets right up in his face and backs far, far away. Half-says a dozen things that he knows Carlos will never forgive him for saying, then speaks his way around a couple more, just for good measure. 

Josh's ribs hurt like a bitch as they haul him up off the floor, but it doesn't even compare to the weird shit his heart's making him feel. He thinks about how him sleeping with Carlos never changed the way he was around Sam and Gus. Thinks about what he gave up — even if Carlos was adamant about it not going anywhere real, about them having no future — by standing up for Sam and their friendship by sacrificing his romantic relationship. Wonders if Sam would do the same for him or Gus and isn't happy with the only answer he comes up with.

"Go fuck yourself, man. I'm _done_."

**xi.**

He isn't done.

Gus talks him down, just like he always does, but this time Josh really wishes he hadn't. Carlos has got a broken wrist and they both know the instructors have suspended for less. Hell, they've _expelled_ for less.

Nobody knows where Sam is, but Josh knows that he can't hide forever. Eventually Sam'll have to talk to Ken or an instructor when they get back and face judgement on what he's done. Josh and Gus try to figure out what to do throughout the night and by morning they've come up with a bare-bones idea that just might work.

Glenn's only here because of Omar, and talking to him reveals that Glenn isn't actually looking to be career-military, let alone enlist. They ask him if he thinks Glenn would be open to taking the fall for Sam.

If they can convince Carlos to say that Glenn's the one who he got into a fight with, then he'll more than likely get a suspension for the rest of the year, or worst-come-worst get expelled from a place he hadn't even really wanted to be in at the first place. Meanwhile, Sam's record stays squeaky clean and he can continue on towards his goal of getting into West Point.

They all know that once all the other guys get back on campus the truth about Glenn and Sam will get out, because that shit always does, and even if by some stroke of luck it actually _doesn't_ , Glenn's obviously the type who wouldn't want to live in secret anyway. All cards on the table? Neither would Sam, eventually. If Sam's gone, Glenn'll take the full brunt of any and all the bullying, which is the last thing from fair, especially when it was Sam who started all of this shit in the first place. Josh gets Omar to see things their way and with that all head back to his and Glenn's room to plead their case.

Somehow, throughout all their planning and rationalizing, they didn't factor in Glenn not wanting to be separated from Sam.

Josh's whole life has been him having to come up with Plan B's, C's, D's, all-the-way-through-Z's, and it's a good thing he didn't expect anything different now.

**xii.**

As he's leaving out the shower, Josh runs into Carlos and doesn't know what to do. Gus is there too, so he could probably get away with not saying anything, but then the little bastard high-tails it like his ass is on fire without so much as a second glance. He's too damn perceptive for his own good and Josh is going to fucking _get him_. 

Josh watches Carlos try to bag the wrist that his best friend broke out of the corner of his eye and feels the resolve and contempt that's been simmering inside him since the day they fought slip off his shoulders. Even though Gus' left the room, Josh can feel the phantom gaze of his temperament boring into the back of his head. _Go help your fucking not-boyfriend boyfriend_ , it says. _Don't be a dick._

For once in his life, Carlos doesn't make a dumb comment when Josh snatches the tape out from his hand, just sticks out his injured hand and accepts Josh's help. It makes Josh feel stupidly _fond_ of the asshole, but he knows better than to let Carlos know that he's already pretty much forgiven him.

They take turns glancing at each other out from under their eyelashes, sizing each other up. Somewhere outside Gus starts yelling bloody murder about Glenn and the moment is lost. He and Carlos stare at one another, wondering just what in the hell Gus' talking about.

He knows that Sam'll pitch a fit if he finds out that something happened to Glenn and Josh didn't do anything about it, like everybody's supposed to be Glenn's keeper all of a sudden now that Sam's AWOL and can't do it himself, so he sighs and starts unwrapping the tape he just finished wrapping around Carlos' cast. As far as he knows Josh still hasn't forgiven him yet, so Josh is going to milk Carlos' guilt for all it's worth and made him go on this wild goose chase too.

Josh pulls away and is about to head back to his room to toss some clothes on when Carlos grabs his hand with his only good one. "Hey, uh, I'm—" Strangely enough, it isn't what Josh wants or needs to hear, so he cuts him off by shoving him up against the bathroom sink and pushing their lips together. He bites down hard on Carlos' bottom lip, gets his mouth open and pushes his tongue inside to taste the one part of Carlos' body he's never been allowed to before. He relishes in the slick noise their mouths make before he pulls away, unable to resist pressing one final chaste kiss against Carlos' lips before he says, "Pony up," smiling and light-hearted before sprinting out of the bathroom and down towards his room.

Duty calls.

**xiii.**

How Glenn went from being straight-up _dead_ to making out with Sam on a table in the middle of the auditorium, Josh'll never know. Rumors in this place spread and mutate quicker than a case of the fucking clap.

**xiv.**

Somehow Josh manages to pull an amazing piece of utter bull out of his ass once everybody comes back, and all the other guys are in enough shit themselves by association that they all go along with it.

The official story is: Ken came down with a cold so Carlos had to hold down the fort. While everybody was playing basketball, the competition got a little heated and Carlos tripped and broke his wrist during a light, mutual bout of roughhousing. He was bitter over it and told Ken that Sam jumped him and did it on purpose. Ken relayed this back to them that first time they called. Later, as the guilt settled in, Carlos finally came clean, which is why Ken's telling them this all now.

It's sketchy as fuck and if they really tried they could poke holes in it a mile wide, but their instructors are happy that this version doesn't warrant any lawsuits, so after a harsh dressing down and a couple demerits, they type it up and accept it at face value.

Josh should become a fucking politician.

**xv.**

After all the drama of those four days the rest of the semester feels boring by comparison. No new secret relationships — as far as Josh can tell —, no fights, no hazings-gone-wrong, no more first kisses that onlookers get to watch like a bad soap opera. The only thing that's changed is that Sam has an unspoken-but-acknowledged reason to creep around Glenn now, and can actually talk to him in full sentences without embarrassing himself. He smiles more than Josh has ever seen him do and it creeps he and Gus the fuck out.

Finals pass by like a breeze and for once Josh isn't actually sorta looking forward to the semester ending. He and Carlos are non-officially officially boyfriends, and now that kissing's on the table it feels like they're never _not_ doing it.

Conveniently enough, Carlos seems to be taking the train back home this time around too, and apparently Glenn and Omar've always done so, so the six of them all catch the bus into town and head to the station together once finals have wrapped up and they've cleaned out their rooms and lockers.

Sam and Glenn cuddle up in the back of the bus as soon as they clear the schools gates, winding their hands around the other's thigh or bicep, forcing their friends to run defense and act like brick walls around them to shield the rest of their classmates from seeing their disgusting display. They practically talk into each other’s mouths, they're leaned together so close. Carlos and he share a look and roll their eyes, but Omar and Gus catch them while they're at it and roll _theirs_.

Once they reach the station they find a couple benches beside the tracks to wait for their train, Sam practically settling himself in Glenn's lap in his haste to get at his mouth. Omar and Gus bail to hit up the vending machines inside when they spot the two making out, dropping their duffels at the foot of Sam and Glenn's feet with an ignored-plea for the pair to at least half watch the bags. Josh is amazed at their lack of shame. It's like watching a car crash, he can't look away.

He's jolted out of his trance when Carlos shoves at his shoulder. "That's fucking disgusting," he comments, nudging his chin at Sam and Glenn as if Josh could possibly think he was talking about anything else.

"Yeah," Josh agrees, distracted again. "Hey, you wanna hit up the wheelchair stall in the bathroom and make out until our train gets here?" He asks, too caught up and strangely aroused to think about what he's saying and how he could phrase it better, be a little less fucking obvious. Carlos grabs his hand and starts tugging him back towards the station so quickly that Josh nearly trips over his feet.

His eyes catch Gus' from where he and Omar are still loitering around the vending machines, stuffing their chubby little faces, the greedy bastards. Josh raises two fingers to his temple, flicking them away from his face in mock-salute before Carlos shoves them both into the bathroom, his view of their bemused faces disappearing behind the swinging door as it slams shut behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> quick shout-out to my beta!
> 
> my quality recipient hinted that they would love if their yulestory got crossed-over with another one of their fandoms, and while coming up with the dynamic for josh/carlos' relationship i realized that they could potentially have a lot it common with ian/mickey (from the US adaption of _shameless_ ). it actually worked out surprisingly well and helped give some double-meaning to their canon scenes, imo. if you picked up on it, random reader, then here's hoping that easter egg-ish aspect just made the fic that much better for you. 
> 
> i hope my recipient likes it and that it's maybe-sorta-kinda-possibly what they had in mind when they came up with their optional details. ♥


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